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The world of copywriting — and I’m really talking about direct response here — is full of misconceptions; the biggest one being copywriting is some kind of black art conferring upon its practitioners Jedi-like powers of mind control.
That, to put it in purely technical terms, is a crock of shit.
You’ll often see claims being bandied about how they can “compel” people to give you money, and all that silly stuff. But come on… how bloody likely is this, really?
Yes, I know we perhaps allow a certain latitude, a modicum of exaggeration and stretching of claims for sales copy… but this kind of arrant nonsense is beyond the pale. In fact, I’ve come to see we do far better not only by being totally honest, but by even going the other way: being even less grand in our claims than the reality will ultimately show. That way there are only nice surprises.
So, let’s debunk this silliness right here and now: if any copywriter could truly compel anyone to buy anything with the power of their written words alone, why would they be writing copy for clients instead of selling umpty-million groat yachts to Warren Buffet?
I am one of the best copywriters around. No false modesty here - it’s simply true. Not for no reason did Bill Glazer choose one of my pieces in his new book.
But I can’t compel anyone to do anything simply by writing to them; if I could, I’d write my stepdaughter a note about keeping her bloody room clean and tidy.
Here are a few other things I’d do with the magic of my pen:
- Compel the entire British Royal Family to hang themselves.
- Get all the politicians to join them.
- Brainwash several dozen hot women to join me on the expansive tropical island in I’d make Richard Branson buy me (and persuade Sarah this was all a really Neat Idea).
As it happens, though, I can’t do this and nor can anyone else. That’s why we continue to write copy for clients.
Look, if copywriters could do all this stuff, we’d be getting 100% success rates every single time or thereabouts, wouldn’t we?
And we don’t. Or at least I don’t. If you can find someone who does, then listen to them instead of me (and tell me who they are so I can listen to them, too).
All that said, there is a lot we can do with properly crafted sales copy by following a few dozen simple rules. None of it’s very hard to understand. It might be awkward and difficult at first, but practice makes you better at it. The brain has a really neat trick of forging new neural connections and devoting new neurons to tasks we perform often.
So that’s the first thing: practice writing. It doesn’t matter whether it’s sales copy or not… just get into the habit of writing every day.
Most people should be able to type 500 words in 30 minutes. So that’s what you should aim for.
Every day for the next week, sit down for 30 minutes and write a descrption of something you’ve done that day (or the day before if you do this in the morning). Don’t stop to edit and think about what you’re written. Just get it down there as if you’re having a conversation with someone about it.
It’s really important you don’t stop to worry about making it “read right”. If you do that, you’ll only enforce the silly and arbitrary rules you learned at school or from your colleagues.
Have a go and let me know how you get on.
Hint: join the Copywriting Laid Bare discussion group and post your stuff and your experience with this exercise there. Or make a comment below.
TTFN.
Jon McCulloch
“The Grumpy Old Man of Copywriting”
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Having a blog helps with the writing habit although it’s not been every day - too busy with the (don’t curse!) web content writing.
Sometimes I get tired of typing on a keyboard and looking at a screen - pen and paper seem more relaxing though often filled with annoying squiggles and crossed out half thoughts
I find writing on trains (er, IN my notebook, I hasten to add; I’m not some ghetto graffiti artisto) a pleasant experience. In between paragraphs, I can people watch on trains here in J-land without fear of some lout starting aggro.
In fact I’m commuting 2 hours a days for the next 2 weeks, so it’s off to get some kip before the sun’s up. l8r